Intro-, retro- and all kindsa- spection

Wednesday, June 22, 2011
It's been quite a while since my last post, and many interesting events have transpired, some of which I would like to tell you about. I stopped blogging because it was taking up too much time. Then I realized that I was making too big a deal of it. I don't have to edit and re-edit my words before I put it up on here because that just detracts from the whole point of blogging, which is to send out quick soundbites of your thoughts into cyberspace for all to enjoy. So here's a quick update of what's been happening in my life.

I was contemplating applying to med school for a while now, and have been trying to make up my mind about it. Unlike a normal person who would make the decision whether to pursue medicine or not before jumping in and doing prerequisite classes, I chose to act as if I have made the decision already. The truth is that I need to actually take time and pray about it, for reals. Anyway, I've been doing prerequisite classes (mostly chemistry and physics) and fitting in work wherever possible to both fund my studies and act as a decent reference for med. However, I've been feeling pretty burned out recently. I've been doing the same dead-end project at work for a year, praying that things would just turn around, and dealing with a boss who is marginally interested at best and condescending/ unpredictable at worst. All these factors combined with the difficulty of organic chemistry have been driving me over the edge, and I felt myself returning to old bad habits (snappiness, gossip, moodiness, negativity), something I did not want to do. Then 2 weeks ago my pastor at church was preaching about how we sometimes get stuck in a roundabout in life and just keep going in circles not knowing which exit to take. That described me perfectly. I felt like I was stuck doing the same old thing, and that God wasn't showing me which exit to take. But really, I wasn't spending enough time asking him the questions (how can he answer without me asking? d'oh!). Anyway I had a good complaining whiny session with God yesterday, and aired all my grievances. He's been so good to me and so faithful time and time again. And yet again he showed me how he comes to my rescue when I'm least expecting it, and blows me away with grace. I just have a really good feeling about my midterm and things now because I feel like I understand some concepts a bit better. I was also praying about improving my social skills when it comes to the opposite sex, and today this guy asked me out so let's see where that leads. I'm really shy when it comes to guys I like, and I know I put off guys that are interested in me because I act all weird around them. I don't think this guy is anywhere close to being the one for me, but I feel like it's a chance to get to know someone I wouldn't normally interact with and get better at dating.

Anyway that's where life stands now. Things are looking bright. I feel like I'm learning a lot and the road is the destination, or whatever that saying is supposed to be. God is good...no, he's great!


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jer 29:11 (NIV)

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